A weekend so exciting I set myself on fire
"While I'm not hoping for a repeat to August 2003, at this point, I'd almost be surprised if SOMEthing momentous doesn't go down this weekend." -Statmark's Reasonable Blog, 4/29/05I woke up on Saturday morning, went to the computer to work on TV formats and such odds and ends for the show later in the day and was greeted by an email...an email of a breaking news story out of Charlotte. A news story that would garner a "Holy fucking shit balls!!!" type reaction. I'm not going to go into detail and bury the individual that this news story pertained to but to say the least, it was a very, very fitting start to...
the "Return to Wentworth."
-insert dramatic "baum baum baummmm" sounding instrumental here-
1. Ultra Dragon and "Rock N' Roll" Matty Dee defeated the Street Sweepers (Gregory Vercetti and Jay Sinn) in 6:14 when Dragon pinned Vercetti-
Boy, you just don't get openers that are much more fun than this. Vercetti and Sinn debut their new tag team (which if it maintains, Dollars comes along for the ride as the bodyguard so we don't lose the "Shrek & Donkey" chants). They visually LOOK like a tag team, and actually (god forbid) WRESTLE as a tag team, but I don't quite understand it yet. But that does hit on 2 of the 3, so it passes. Dragon and Matty on the other hand look anything like a team, but just play off of one another so insanely well, that you can't help but love them. Tremendous energy, although too spotty, but still just a ton of fun and exactly what an opener should be. And by god FINALLY someone (Dragon) actually HITS the sky twister press (!!!) and even goes over with it. Of course Matty celebrates like he just won Olympic gold. I love that guy. **1/2
2. Tank Lawson pinned Keenan Quinn in 3:41 - Easily the one matchup on the show where you go "whew boy, this could be ugly" but it was not to be and both guys did what they're supposed to do. Perfectly acceptable TV match. *1/2
3. Otto Schwanz pinned Rising Generation League champion Kid Justice in 10:18 - Ahhh...god bless Otto's impending marriage as he was TOTALLY had the working boots on tonight and Kid Justice has quiet possibly his best singles match EVER. Fantastic big man vs. little man match. ***
4. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic Television champion Jesse Ortega defeated Donnie Dollars by submission in 9:50 - Very good first half of action until the heat begins to set in and Dollars becomes the MAN by swallowing his own hurl during the match as to not ralph in the ring. That was part of a shaky, but still held together second half which they recovered for the finish. **1/2
5. "Boggie Woogie Man" Rob McBride pinned Mitch Conner in 8:45 - This would be your obvious comedy matchup of the show with the usual mannerisms from both guys. Fine little crowd pleaser. *1/2
6. "Dangerous E" Corey Edsel and Brad Stutts defeated Brass Munkey and GeeStar in 16:57 when Stutts pinned Gee - This was the big one with as much history and depth as any match you'll probably ever see on the Indy scene. Unlike most matches where you have your one basic psychology pattern, all four here had a different individual mental psychology that had to be interwoven together to tell the story. Munkey wants to fight Corey, who doesn't want to fight but rather wrestle while Stutts wants revenge on Gee, who doesn't want Stutts as much as she wants to find the soul inside of Corey, who is hesitant to do anything physical at all to her as he still may indeed have a heart. And can you believe they pulled it off??? Munkey's intensity is just off the freakin' charts early, basically abusing himself and screaming for Corey to "FIGHT ME!!!!" and just going ballistic when Corey goes to (just) work the arm. After Gee imprints her boot across Stutts' forehead (legit), she does the 10 punches in the corner, jumps down, and twists her good knee of all things which leads to Stutts trying to viciously maul it while Corey is extremely tentative to do anything at all. Probably the only 7 minute heat sequence you will ever see without one single bump in this day and age but the story was so deep, it didn't need it. Truthfully, the heat went two minutes too long until Gee finally kicks Stutts' knee out from under him, and the hot tag is on.
Munkey and Corey then do a fantastic balls-out 4 minute mini-match as both crippled partners match from their respective corners until Corey locks Munkey in the Anaconda Vice until he passes out. And then, the whole "devil on one shoulder, angle on the other" sequence with Stutts and Gee both pleading with Corey for totally different reasons until Corey lets the hold go and just stands in the middle of the ring trying to decide which road he takes. He extends the hand to Gee, helps her to her feet and then makes her EAT the dangerous backdrop driver. Murder. Death. Kill. Then, to confirm that he's a hall of fame prick, allows STUTTS to make the cover for the 3. And you think you've seen Munkey pissed before... A very, very hard match to judge on the star-level as the heat was nothing but selling and storyline and made up half the match. But the workrate on either end was extremely solid and all wrapped and packaged in awesome intensity. ***3/4 as an average whole I guess, but that could easily go up or down depending on what you look for in a match.
7. Mikael Yamaha pinned American Steel Ninja in 10:58 -
The Yam-Ninja mindgames come to a head and, as I somewhat feared, the match couldn't live up to the build. Very basic stuff which reminded me somewhat of the Yam-X AC Fitness match. Not bad by any means, just flat, and I liked the first Yam-Ninja CSA match much, much better. *1/2
8. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic tag team champions the $outh$ide Playas (J-Money and Will B. Smooth) defeated "Madd Trucker" Garry Stevens and the Spoiler in 20:02 - A very un-main event looking match at the surface, but the payoff was just awesome. Spoiler falls into the spot much better than expected and the two teams have a very acceptable old school match for 15 minutes until a new silver Infiniti G35 Coupe screeches into the arena and out pops MA champ Ric Converse, title belt and baseball bat in hand. Reminding me of Michael Douglas in "Falling Down", Converse swings the fences at Steven's gut and the contact between bat and stomach makes a very loud and disturbingly real sound. Stevens goes down like he's been shot (which he might as well have been) while Ric continues after him. Meanwhile, the Playas take advantage and pin Spoiler with the 3-P. Match was solid but will only be remembered for the final 5 minutes. **3/4
Ric then comes back to the ring and not surprisingly, announces he IS back from injury and the crowd just eats it up like there's no tomorrow. The Ric and Garry feud have now produced arguably two of the best show closing moments in company history.
Overall thoughts - It may not wind up as historically significant as the last Wentworth show, but it was still one hell of a follow up with a near-perfect-by-matchup-and-structure undercard, an unforgettable tag match that officially killed the Crew faction, and a super hot closing sequence that brought the champ back to life.
On a non-wrestling side note, and in a completely fitting Wentworth tradition, Sarah Hamlet (looking as smoking hot as ever) showed up, who I hadn't seen since last October. We were actually invited back to her place after the show (and whew boy, you talk about making a full circle). But in all, from open to close, I think this past weekend was one huge piece of closure. This 48 hours from Sat morn-Mon morning was the final closure for not just me, but several others, from the 48 hours that were August 2003. I almost feel myself getting old when I say that (and everyone who knows me knows how much I fight that), but that's exactly what it seems like. There was almost a peaceful tranquility to Monday morning. I, we, everyone...survived the return to Wentworth. No drama. No heartache. Just friends doing what we do better than anything.
WRESTLING.
Moving on with the rest of the weekend, we crashed at Zoe's after the show and good lord, is she one hell of a hostess. She is seriously gonna make some guy insanely happy one day (I still wish the big man was up here cause I would set those two up in a heartbeat). In the span of abut 12 hours, she made us beef stir fry, some god-like brownie concoctions, and a full blown breakfast. She's also becoming our latest sponge as far as wrestling goes. Come Sunday afternoon; Katie, Gee, a still forehead-scared Stutts, and myself headed over to Hedd's for a bit so Stutts could dip into his stash. I swear, give us old wrestling tapes and we're like kids in a candy store. Then god forbid we both want the same last piece. During the visit, I'm doing my usual nosing around Randolph's card collection and all when it starts feeling really warm...like for some reason Hedd just turned on a fireplace behind me. I think I even looked back, didn't see a fireplace (only the bookshelf as expected), and then did a double take realizing I WAS ON FIRE. Yes, I was standing directly in front of a candle that my shirt just happened to have been close enough to. Not only that, but of all things, it was the now out-of-print CWF shirt that was burning to pieces. Of course, I decided that if it was going to burn that maybe it be best if it not do that while I'M WEARING IT so I calmly (albeit quickly) got that sucker off and to a sink. Thankfully, I only got a minor burn on my left side about an inch and a half long that only stung bad the first day. Could have been much worse but it's one of those things to look back and be amused about now. After Hedd's, we bummed around the mall briefly and man, when you have just semi-stardom and don't have to deal with thousands of marks, it's still really cool when you have a fan walk past your group in the mall, stop, and be like "Hey...aren't you?".
Sunday concluded with the return of Family Guy on FOX..there's just one, ya know? Flat out awesome episode and I totally forgot just how much I loved that show. You couldn't ask for a better final "hurrah" to the weekend than that.
Love to all that made this past weekend so much fun...to every single mo fo on the crew and backstage, to all the friends...just to everybody...I'm still broke, but man...life is just grand.
GRANT "STATMARK" SAWYER
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