Show Review Central
Time to be a critic on everything in life, starting with the recent shows, going back to the 8/19/05 DVD-exclusive "Friday Night Fights 3" at the CSA in Burlington, NC. Before the show though, I have to recount the misadventures of Mikael Yamaha and myself from earlier in the day, that included Yamaha trying to seek out a mechanic (ironically enough) and suddenly having an out-of-body experience, envisioning himself as the driver in the "Flatout" video game and plowing through an intersection and into another car, attempting to catapult the driver of said car through the roof and into the bullseye board. That was followed up with a rescue mission of a box mattress on the interstate, which we drove backwards on for about 1/2 mile in order to save the mattress. After our possession of it, we spied a series of stalled vehicles ahead on the interstate. Upon investigation we discovered that our mattress had originally been attached along with another mattress on top of a van that had "deposited" both mattresses going 65 MPH along the interstate. However, the additional mattress had become wedged underneath a car trailing the van at that particular time. Thinking between Yam, myself, and the other poor sap wrapped up in this dilemma, we had the strength to pull the other mattress out from under his car, we attempted to do just that and failed miserably. We took a look underneath the car and found the equivalent of a military war zone as each and every spring from the mattress had been ripped out and entangled so horrifyingly bad underneath the car I couldn't help but laugh in a "Dude, you are SO fucked kinda way". Trust me, you HAD to be there to get the full effect of that visual. Anyways, onto the shows and FNF3...1. Amber O'Neal defeated Lorelei Lee by submission in 5:43 -
A very enjoyable little women's match as I'm a pretty big fan of Lorelei's, especially considering just how green she really is. Fun little match, went the right length, and clicked on all counts. **
2. "Boggie Woogie Man" Rob McBride and Ultra Dragon defeated the Street Sweepers (Gregory Vercetti and Jay Sinn) in 7:33 when McBride pinned Sinn - Passable as a stand-alone match but Dragon too way too much murderous heat to be appearing again in the segment to follow. But that happens almost every time he works Vercetti and Sinn...more to come on that later. **
3. Brass Munkey defeated Donnie Dollars, Mikael Yamaha, and Brad Stutts in 6:12 of a handicap bunkhouse match when he pinned Dollars, thereby winning the right to face "Dangerous E" Corey Edsel in a match of his choosing -
One of the defining matches in Munkey's career. He's had some incredible house show matches in the past but at the CSA we frequently didn't properly capitalize on his character and his desire to defeat Corey Edsel. Make no mistake, this one match showcased that desire and determination better than we could have ever dreamed. The heels make their entrance, Stutts cuts a brief but effectively enraged promo, the lights go out, come back on, Munkey in ring kendo stick in hand, smacking the holy crap out of Dollars, lights accidentally fade back out, come back on again, and Munkey continues brutalizing the heels. As memorable of a 10-second segment as we've had in a loooong time. Munkey goes on to beat Dollars half to death with that kendo stick on a brutality level that had never before been seen in a CWF ring. For fans that are regular viewers of the hardcore style, this match wouldn't have seemed all that impressive probably. But this wasn't hardcore for the sake of hardcore, this was hardcore for a reason. This was the story of a man who was pushed so far back into a corner that he had to go into a near murderous mental state of mind to achieve his ultimate goal. The heels of course, make an eventual comeback, overpowering Munkey with sheer numbers as Stutts brings a stopsign down across Munkey's face as he's hanging upside down over the top rope, with Dollars trapped in a guillotine choke with his legs. The heels try to get their payback but when Yamaha goes outside to get a chair to finish things off, he's interrupted by Ultra Dragon who has an unfinished score to settle from the last TV taping. Dragon traps Yamaha in the christo and in a wild chaotic finishing sequence, Stutts attempts to save Yamaha to no avail, Dragon distracts Dollars only to launch himself backwards from the ring apron onto Stutts and Yamaha, as Munkey recovers enough to lariat Dollars six feet under. 1, 2, 3 and the crowd goes nuts. I cannot even begin to understate how HUGE of a match this was for not only Munkey, but Dragon as well, as for months without proper direction they have been walking the fine line between upper-card player and mid-card heel. Dragon turned the tide with the AWA tourney and the last couple of run-ins with Yamaha. Munkey always brought the heat when it came to Corey, but his determination and heart always seemed lacking when across the ring from anyone else. This one match told the story and shot every single person in the match (let's not forget about Dollars, who more than earned his stripes here) to the next level. It can't be a MOTYC because of the style and whatnot, but it's an EASY "Most Memorable" nominee. ***1/2
4. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic tag team champions $outh$ide Playas (J-Money and Will B. Smooth with Kiyia Moka in their corner) defeated Tank Lawson and John Kermon (with Cornelius J. Lumpkin III in their corner) in 9:00 when Money pinned Lawson - A rather unusual pairing to vie for the tag straps on FNF3, but one that could possibly work as a regular pairing down the road. Nothing especially memorable here, but solid enough. The heel timing between Lumpkin and Lawson needs some work as far as doing heelish acts at the right time and place, rather than just doing them for the sake of doing them. **
5. Xsiris pinned Caprice "Ice" Coleman in 11:47 to win a shot against AWA World Light Heavyweight champion "Krazy K" Kirby Mack on 9/10 in Wentworth, NC -
Very unusual match as I really expected a show stealing epic here between these two, especially with the sakes being so high. Instead, what we got was more of a prolonged squash with X getting the win out on nowhere. Coleman completely dominated this one and the crowd fell somewhat silent to the display, as their universal "cool guy to cheer whether you're a heel or face mark" pretty much got his head handed to him here. Not a bad match, but not nearly what anyone was expecting. In the spot-fest world these two are capable of living in, it had far less "catch-as-catch-can-action" than the recent X-Justice matches. **3/4
6. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic TV champion Jesse Ortega pinned KC McKnight in 9:31 -
A rivalry born through internet blogs comes to life square in the middle of a CWF ring for a national audience. And holy crap what a fight it was. Just about as stiff as anything you're gonna see on the Southern Indys as these two lay it all on the line and beat the living piss out of one another from the opening bell. Every chop, every forearm, every kick is IN THERE and then some. Unfortunately, Moses Manson, who was one of the ringleaders in the original angle no-showed due to some unfortunate circumstances at the last second, costing the match some of it's heat. Still, the crowd - who has been very fickle towards Ortega as of late - showed him as much love in this one as they had in months as he fought not only for his own TV title, but out of respect of the home promotion as well. The biggest drawback to the match was KC's unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions, which should be fixed in the editing process, but hurt his credibility in many people's eyes. As much as I'd love to do a long-running feud with these two, I really don't think either man's bodies could withstand it and I'd hate to even attempt to try and one-up the intensity they both showed here. ***3/4
7. "Slick Diddy" Ric Converse and Brad Attitude defeated Michael McAllister and CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight champion Garry "Madd Trucker" Stevens in 10:59 when Attitude pinned McAllister -
On paper, the heat should have been off the charts for this one between all the different aspects of the match. Unfortunately, it failed in a few of the areas, resulting in it not producing a fraction of that it should have. Before the match, Stevens throws out the stip that he's SO confident of his team that if they lose, he'll give the winner of the fall a title shot. This is a bit of stretch logically to say the least as it's completely out of line with Steven's character to just randomly offer this opportunity up without even being goaded into it, especially considering his partner is a non-wrestler and they're wrestling two guys that he definitely does NOT want to face with the title on the line. Attitude wrestles his first match in 6 months and breaks out the old 2002 look, which is a really bizarre thing to see all these years later. Ric and Atty do the obvious hesitation dealio as partners while McAllister plays chickenshit. All as to be expected until the hot tag as the crowd is just baited and ready for Ric murdering McAllister. Hot tag and inexplicably, McAllister becomes just another wrestler as rather than cowering in the corner and being dragged in by Converse to have the proverbial stuffing beat out of him, he charges in full steam, bumps around like any normal wrestler would, heading to the eventual finish where Atty pins him to little reaction with the lionsault. Even though it's formulaic, the inaugural wrestling appearances of non-wrestlers such as Danny Davis, Vince McMahon, etc over the years were always milked to the fullest until that one moment when the babyface FINALLY got their hands on them and ripped them to shreds. That non-wrestler then, over a period of time, would be transitioned into a semi-"normal" wrestler where they would participate in more "formulaic" scenarios. This match completely skipped the golden opportunity of having McAllister getting murdered and put him immediately into that role of "normal" wrestler. *3/4 Not to go on TOO much of a rant here, but the other less-noticeable problem with this match and the ongoing angle in general is the fact that it's completely taken the focus off of what should be without question, the number one priority of the angle, that being the Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight title. The Converse-Stevens feud has gone from being an extremely hotly contested battled over the title, to the title being an afterthought to McAllister, Attitude, and little billy. After 7 months totally defining what a modern-day MA champ should be, Converse now seems light years away from another title run between all the other angles and scenarios that have occupied his time. On the other end of the spectrum, Stevens has had one title defense since he won it and that wasn't exactly of championship caliber. Not that this is a hopeless situation, as the ship can certainly be turned and righted with only a couple of weeks worth of quality TV.
Anyways, onto Sat 8/20 for an outdoor house show at the American Legion Ballpark in King, NC. With off-and-on storms throughout the day, the crowd was somewhat sparse although for the show itself, the weather ended up being just fine.
1. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic TV champion Jesse Ortega defeated John Kermon by submission in 5:35 - Solid straight-up wrestling match as Ortega makes successful title defense #22. I'm tellin ya, when this title run is, no body is ever breakin' that record. And trust me, when this thing started, it was NEVER planned to reach these kind of proportions **
2. Xsiris and Brad Attitude defeated the Street Sweepers (Gregory Vercetti and Jay Sinn) in 8:23 when Xsiris pinned Jay Sinn - A good portion of this show would be the workers just out there havin some fun, which is pretty much all you got here although it was a fun little piece of business. Unfortunately, after the match, Sinn doesn't cross the line when it comes to havin fun, he completely obliterates it by flat out humping Vercetti's "package" (briefcase) in the middle of the ring. Whooo boy. *3/4
3. Mikael Yamaha and "Dangerous E" Corey Edsel defeated Ultra Dragon and Brass Munkey in 12:53 when Yamaha pinned Dragon - Another "4 guys having fun" kinda match although the work contained was definitely a but more on the professional level that the previous one. Action packed, non-stop, and pretty non-formulaic in a good way. Corey-Munkey worked a little that still stayed in line with their blood feud, but didn't give away to much in what otherwise was a meaningless tag team encounter. Yamaha nearly pants Dragon all the way to a NC-17 rating in pulling the tights for the finish. **1/2
4. Tank Lawson (with Cornelius J. Lumpkin III in his corner) pinned "Boggie Woogie Man" Rob McBride in 12:46 - The million-match war continues between Rob and Tank. Once again, Lumpkin's involvement needs some fun tuning as he blasts Rob in the head with a dustbuster during the generic heat portion of the match. Your normal chaotic stuff from these two. **
5. The Shadow, "A Very Handsome Man" Mitch Conner, and CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight champion Garry "Madd Trucker" Stevens defeated "Slick Diddy" Ric Converse and CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic tag team champions $outh$ide Playas (J-Money and Will B. Smooth with Kiyia Moka in their corner) in 15:40 when Stevens pinned Converse - Your usual 6-man action here although Converse takes a pretty shocking pinfall loss to Stevens here on a throwaway show with Stevens' title not on the line... **
My less than enthusiastic reviews to the latter half of the show can be partially attributed to one of my killer migraines being brought on and getting progressively worse during the show's second half. Between the heat, humidity, and a f'd up sleep schedule, I was about to pass the f out on the ring apron. Of course then I can't get in my car to actually get out of King, NC cause Yamaha is bangin some hot blonde in my backseat. Oh well, can't blame him there. We eventually head out and Brass Munkey's aunt makes me feel a million times better by giving me a 5-star handjob, thereby releasing alot of the pressure in my noggin.
7 days later takes us to a double-shot Saturday (8/27), kicking off at Noon...or 1..or 2..or finally 3:15pm with the 2005 Greensboro Bike Rally in the parking lot of a high-class adult establishment. Let's just say that the building itself was the best looking thing about it...yikes. The show itself would be one of those painful ones where the crowd couldn't care less. They weren't disrespectful like the 2/6 Coliseum fans, but they were deathly silent.
1. American Steel Ninja pinned Joey Silvia in 10:16 - Boy, you stick Joey Silvia on a show in the parking lot of a strip club that he already knows is meaningless, and you're just asking for some misbehavior. But surprise, surprise, Silvia and Ninja actually turn out what would be the eventual Match of the Day as they really bust their ass for absolutely zero pop. Yeah, they did go way too long under the circumstances but it was the best singles match either guy has had in a couple of months that I've seen. **1/2
2. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic tag team champions $outh$ide Playas (J-Money and Will B. Smooth with Kiyia Moka in their corner) defeated Rising Generation League champion Kid Justice and CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight champion Garry "Madd Trucker" Stevens in 10:11 of a non-title match when Money pinned Justice -
Rather oddball pairing to say the least and a rare all-champions tag team matchup. Obviously, Stevens and Justice don't exactly see eye to eye with miscommunication leading to the Playas win. **
3. Tank Lawson and "Dangerous E" Corey Edsel defeated "Boggie Woogie Man" Rob McBride and Classic Rock ("Classic" Chris Collins & "Rock N Roll" Matty Dee) in 9:31 when Lawson pinned McBride - A ton of fun as you would expect with this pairing. Matty Dee kicks it off with the Ultimate Warrior WM8 entrance and then some, running about 1/4 mile or so between start and eventual finish. A bit of exaggeration but you get the point. Pretty amusing triple-train shoulderblock finally takes down the massive heels after the individual efforts fail to do so. Historically, this match will be remembered most for Chris Collins' breaking Trent Wylde's "Most consecutive matches without a win" record. *3/4
4. "Slick Diddy" Ric Converse pinned Mitch Conner in 5:53 - Hey! The only match all day that actually went the CORRECT amount of time under the conditions as Mitch is the only heel to get any form of heat all day and Ric actually gets a halfway decent pop. That's what weekly trips to the clubs will do for ya. **
5. Brass Munkey and Ultra Dragon defeated the Street Sweepers (Gregory Vercetti and Jay Sinn) in 7:35 when Munkey pinned Vercetti -
Boy, if this sucker hadn't been in the aforementioned location, I would absolutely blast certain people for the colorful language and actions showcased here. I'll let that part slide though and concentrate more on how freakin' abysmal this sucker was. For the millionth time, absolutely murderous heat on Dragon by Sinn and Vercetti. Not a lick of psychology to be found and Munkey hitting the backdrop driver to end it was akin to having your balls released from a mousetrap and the relief that would provide. 1/2*
6. Xsiris pinned Brad Attitude in 7:15 - Local club DJ handles the guest ref'ing for this match and actually provides one of the hilights of the day, taking a killer superkick from Atty, selling it like a champ with great facials and all...of course that was probably because Atty really did kick the shit out of him, but it was still great nonetheless, especially considering you just NEVER get that kind of stuff from a newbie ref. For some reason, X and Atty actually try in front of this comatose crowd, including X hitting the swanton from the ring to the ground. He gave his body, crowd gave nadda. Not a bad match though. **
By the time I finally got away from this "mini-show", my brain was petty much fried and trying to even comprehend putting on a watchable TV product just a couple of hours later at the studio seemed impossible. But hey, the show must go on with "Explosive Elements 2005" (not that it was ever called that) for the finals of the 2nd annual Johnny Weaver Cup (including Commish Cross ALMOST calling it the Johnny Weaver MEMORIAL Cup while actually interviewing Weaver himself to kick off the show).
1. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic TV champion Jesse Ortega defeated "A Very Handsome Man" Mitch Conner by submission in 9:46 of a Johnny Weaver Cup tournament semifinal match - Man alive was the crowd HOT for this opener. Talk about a night and day difference between GBoro and the studios. Far and away, the most support for Jesse in MONTHS as the crowd is rabid and Jesse and Mitch seriously deliver and then some in a fine, fine matchup. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. ***1/4
Gemini Kid's returns with the Hotseat to interview Ass Commish Michael McAllister, which in turn sets up a Gemini-McAllister (!!) match for later in the show (Battle of the Suits!).
2. Tank Lawson and the Street Sweepers (Gregory Vercetti and Jay Sinn) defeated Classic Rock ("Classic" Chris Collins & "Rock N Roll" Matty Dee) and 1/2 of the AWA Mid-Atlantic tag team champions Will B. Smooth (with J-Money and Kiyia Moka in their corner) in 9:01 when Lawson pinned Collins-
Man, Matty Dee and Tank just do NOT wrestle enough. Not too shabby as everyone involved seemed to be a bit more serious than usual and Matty always works better with Sinn and Vercetti than Dragon does. Collins takes Tank's finisher like a champ as well. Crowd still didn't want to care about CRock, but we pulled it out of them by the end. **
3. Marcellus King pinned Rising Generation League champion Kid Justice in 7:51-
Wowzers. Generally, CWF debuts come and go pretty quietly with only time actually providing that original debut with any kind of significance. And I hate to actually shower ANY newcomer with too much praise too soon (after all, how many times have we seen new wrestlers get that treatment out of the gate and then shoot themselves in the foot shortly thereafter)? BUT, as far as a debut match goes, it couldn't have been much more successful than what Marcellus King did here. A massive individual, a menacing persona, and an impressive moveset makes King APPEAR to be a serious contender for bigger and better things down the road. And of course, Justice can make any one look good when he's on as he usual is. Served it's purpose perfectly and did so without burying Justice. **1/2
Up next, none other than AWA World champ Steve Corino himself appears on the InsidersTron, plugging the 9/17 showdown with either Converse or Edsel. Crowd popped big time and certainly got the "Holy shit! This is the real deal!" reaction from any doubters. Commish Cross then comes out to announce that the decision of who the challenger is HAS been made and it will be...
4. "Slick Diddy" Ric Converse pinned Julius Augustus in 7:15 - The warm-up for Corino for Ric actually goes 2-3 minutes too long as he gives Augustus WAY too much, especially considering the road Ric is on here. *3/4 Ric's post-match interview on Corino is pretty solid, and totally makes everyone believe that Ric has a better shot at being Corino than Stevens, as crazy as that is. That being great on one hand, but also one more reason that the actual MA title will be on the back burner for another month.
5. Brad Stutts, Mikael Yamaha, and "Dangerous E" Corey Edsel defeated Brass Munkey, Ultra Dragon, and "Boggie Woogie Man" Rob McBride in 13:09 when Stutts pinned Munkey-
Well, it's a good thing that we did an incredible job with Munkey and Dragon at FNF3 because we just about pissed all the good we ever did away right here. Technically, not a bad match at all as you're only gonna have SO bad of a match when you have this kind of quality in one match. However, it was as counterproductive as anything we could have done and pretty much destroyed every single worker's heat and the general illusion of their character all in one match. To start with, despite Corey and Munkey being on a collision course, their rivalry isn't played up at all despite Munkey just doing everything short of homicide 2 weeks earlier just to get a future singles match with Corey (that being the upcoming 9/10 Stretcher match). Rather than either milking no-contact between the two throughout the match OR have them kill one another off the bat, we do neither and totally kill the believability of their feud. Corey then goes onto bump cleanly from an unassisted DRAGON clothesline, thereby killing THAT monster gimmick. Yamaha and Dragon do some decent stuff to move their rivalry along but Dragon takes WAYY too much heat (yet again) and when he does finally make the tag to Munkey, Dragon tags right back in nearly 30 seconds later, completely fine. McBride meanwhile, (the only babyface in this one that can even afford to take the pin) takes virtually no heat, is shitcanned to the outside for the finish, never to be heard from again. Corey then hits ONE move on Munkey, drags Stutts on top in plain view of the ref, who gets the PIN. Munkey's team not only loses heading into the stretcher match but he himself losses to one move and pinned by a manager even though he took zero heat. This is the kind of match that is downright depressing to watch. I don't expect All Japan-esqu 6-mans, but good lord, I honestly don't think we could have done a worse job. Even I have a hard time caring about the stretcher match now after that. And If I have a hard time caring... *
6. Gemini Kid defeated Michael McAllister by submission in 4:42 -
A complete 360 on the use of McAllister from the FNF3 tag match to here as his character is played perfectly here, being a cunning little a-hole, nearly pulling off a cheap win but Gemini making the comeback for which McAllister has no answer. Perfect execution. **
7. Don and Rocky Kernodle defeated Alex Adonis and Donnie Dollars (with Jay Sinn in their corner) in 10:45 of a no-disqualification match when Don defeated Dollars and Rocky defeated Adonis -
Man alive, one week Dollars is getting beaten with a kendo stick, the next he's havin to face the Kernodles. That dude needs a raise. Kernodle 101 with Weaver running in at the finish to hook up with Jay Sinn as the babyfaces do a triple Weeeeeeaverlock for the finish. Did you expect anything else? *
8. CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic TV champion Jesse Ortega pinned CWF/AWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight champion Garry "Madd Trucker" Stevens in 13:14 to win the 2005 Johnny Weaver Cup tournament -
Hard-hitting, psychological strong Cup final with what could probably be considered as a mild upset by some (at least going back to the start of the tourney). Unfortunately, the finish itself didn't do anything for Ortega as Stevens is simply distract by Converse, gets crotched on the top rope, and Ortega delivers an over-the-ropes elbow for a 3-count. The finish really jobbed out the MA champ to pretty much a non-manuever and Jesse's Cup win is now tainted because he couldn't get the job done on his own. Very disheartening, especially considering just how much Jesse has busted his ass here lately. Thankfully, post-match ignores that reality and moves onto the celebration with Weaver presenting the trophy and Jesse cutting a very thankful promo (without the word "bastard" anywhere to be found, I might add). A great moment for Jesse and I'm happy for the kid. Argue if you wish, but he deserved it. **1/2
Whew...I'd say that should be enough for now. Probably made a few comments in there that probably won't garner me alot of love, but just keep in mind, that I want to believe in this sport. I want what's best for every single worker in their specific role from the opener to the main. When we stray outside the lines of believability, whether it be in a finish or a worker itself, it hurts the show, it hurts the worker, it hurts their opponent, it hurts our fanbase. I say nothing with no ill will towards anyone. I just wish some guys would believe in their OWN characters as much as I want to.
GRANT "STATMARK" SAWYER
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